Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
I love you, Curadh.
I love you, Baehr.
This is episode 159 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to talk about curious things.
Okay.
Do you want me to start and we're going to go back and forth?
Okay.
Can you swim?
No.
Like a rock?
Absolutely not.
No, you cannot.
And it's not for lack of trying.
No.
I've had lessons like three times.
I will give you that.
Yes, you have.
You have tried.
But I can attest to the fact that he does not know how to swim.
I can swim, on the other hand, like a fish.
Even with a leg missing, I can still swim really well.
Just around in circles.
Yeah, yeah.
But I can still swim.
Hey, I can still swim.
You can't.
I remember when I first lost my leg.
Do you remember this?
Mm-hmm.
When we went swimming and I thought you were going to lose your mind.
Just to paint the picture, it's right after I lost my leg.
So, we're still getting to know each other.
It's that summer, pretty much, after I lost my leg.
And we go over to the pool in my apartment.
And I'm in, you know, granted, I don't have my prosthetic yet.
I'm in my walker.
And I, we go in the pool area and I just hop right over to the deepest end and jump in.
Well, not knowing he didn't know how to swim, not knowing, he didn't know that I knew how to swim.
He starts freaking out.
I'm in the bottom of the pool with my eyes open, swimming around.
And he's running around the edge of the pool yelling for me.
Not knowing.
Not knowing what to do because he can't swim.
Well, and I didn't know if you could swim or not.
And I couldn't have saved you.
Yeah, and he couldn't have saved me.
So, he just, and then I just look up and I see the sheer look of horror on his face.
I felt so bad after I got to the surface.
Told him that I was fine and everything.
But, yeah, I guess those were probably a pretty scary few moments for you, weren't they?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I'm sorry, Bear.
But, yeah, I'll never forget that.
But, yeah.
Well, I have a life insurance policy on you now.
Okay.
Now you're like, here.
Here you are.
You want a few breaks to hold while you jump in there?
Yeah, so I can swim quite well, but not like I used to.
So.
Do you have trouble swallowing pills?
No.
Probably a champion at it by now.
Do you?
I never did, but now that I have dentures, I can't.
Really?
No.
Do you try to take them without the dentures in?
Yeah.
Okay.
Um, the problem is, all my life I've known that when I put a pill in my mouth, I can
hold it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth and know exactly where it is.
Mm-hmm.
I can't do that anymore.
That's true.
Yeah.
So, they just kind of end up in my throat whenever, and I choke on them.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's...
That's not good.
Mm-hmm.
It's going to be fun to learn.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, when I was a kid, I had a hard time swallowing pills.
I would throw them up all the time.
And then as I've gotten older, yeah, it's not good.
It's not a problem.
So...
They have cups for that.
What?
It's a cup.
You put water in it.
Mm-hmm.
And it has a little pocket up by the, where you hold your mouth.
Oh, okay.
You put the pill in there.
Mm-hmm.
And when you drink the water, the pill just goes right in with the water.
Hmm.
Well, I didn't know that.
That's kind of neat.
So simple, and it's only, you know, people buy it, and the person becomes a billionaire.
Probably only works for one pill, and then it gets wet.
Probably.
It's too bad.
All right.
Do you have trouble thinking of things to say in casual conversation?
All the time.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You?
Mm-hmm.
No.
Mm-hmm.
That's why we have these outlines for the podcast.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think.
Do you think I have a hard time in casual conversation?
No.
Why do you say it that way?
Because I can talk to a wall and be completely entertained.
Go on, say it.
To entertain some people, all you have to do is listen.
Yeah, so that's all you have to do.
Thank you, smartass.
And the family I grew up in, I could never get a word in there twice anyway.
Yeah.
I didn't even try to talk.
Yeah.
It's a wonder I ever learned.
That's true.
Yeah, I don't have a hard time talking in casual conversation.
I don't have a hard time talking in casual conversation either, so.
But you, yeah, I think you get annoyed by people to have casual conversation.
Right, especially when it's something inane that nobody cares about.
Not even them.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Let's see, man.
I don't want to talk unless I have something to say.
Same when you host a podcast.
Wow.
There's so many things I could say about that.
All right.
Your turn.
Do you rehearse conversations in your head before you have them?
No, I don't.
Absolutely, I do.
Yeah.
Well, this is kind of rehearsing.
Especially when we go out to dinner or something, I have to make a list in my head of things
to talk about, because otherwise I'll just sit there.
You think so?
You do like a whole dinner, or?
It's like when you go to talk to your boss about getting a raise.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you rehearse.
You rehearse.
Yeah.
Beforehand.
At least in your head.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Yeah, I don't think I do.
Sometimes I probably should.
How many times has your boss said,
Kuro, you can't say that?
Not very often.
So, I guess I'm lucky there.
But...
You just wait until they leave, and then you say it.
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much, it's mom's word.
Alright.
This one grosses me out.
Do you find feet attractive?
No.
Okay, we're on the same page there.
There's a reason they're called hooves.
They're not...
Ugh.
Mwah.
Yeah, feet are not attractive.
See, I married the right guy, because I only have one.
One of your feet to look at.
Yeah, exactly.
Alright, yeah.
I dislike feet so much, I'd cut one of them off.
Yeah, I don't like feet either.
Not to yuck someone's hum, but, you know, if you're into feet, that's fine.
Yeah.
You probably don't like a hairy chest the way I do either.
Yeah.
So...
I'll get the next one too, okay?
When the battery on your television remote gets weak, do you try to compensate by pressing the buttons harder?
Don't lie.
Don't you dare lie, because I know you push them harder.
Everybody on Earth...
Who does that?
Everybody on Earth does that.
They'll do it at least once.
Listen, don't tell me you didn't.
Everybody does it, though.
As much as you will not want to admit it, I've thought long and hard about this.
Pressing the button doesn't make it work.
But I guarantee you, you still do it.
I guarantee you do it.
Even if you don't even think about doing it, you still do it.
You still will go, lift your hand up and point it at the thing and, like, shake the remote.
And people call it a clicker, and they don't click.
They don't click either.
But, yeah.
I guarantee you still pick it up and the remote at the TV and either shake it or push the button down it.
Shake it.
That's even worse.
Yes.
But I guarantee people do it.
Well, if it's starting to go out, if the remote is going bad, not just the batteries,
sometimes the buttons won't make contact and you do have to press.
It's longer or harder or whatever to make them work.
That's when it's time to get a new remote.
Okay.
You going to get the next one?
Mm-hmm.
Does it bother you when other people make noises while eating?
It depends upon the noises.
There's an old co-worker of mine that when he would eat, it sounded like he was, I imagine
that's probably the same noise he makes when he's having sex.
Making yummy noises?
Yeah.
I'm like, mm, mm, mm.
And then it's like, you're creeping me out.
Stop it.
It's very creepy.
And it's eerie.
Yeah.
It's just, yeah.
And we would call him out on it, too.
And he wouldn't stop.
He just, I think he did it inadvertently.
I'm like, just take it to the back room.
Just go eat your lunch in privacy.
Because that's where it seems to be headed.
So, do you?
Um, I guess I haven't noticed.
Do I?
No.
No, you don't.
Okay.
I was going to be so ashamed if I did.
Asians slurp their food.
Yeah.
I mean, it's in their culture.
That's what they do.
Hmm.
Especially, like, eating noodles out of a bowl with chopsticks.
You have to slurp those noodles.
Well, there's a difference between me eating a sloppy plate and then making sex noises
while you're eating.
Like, the clanking of the forks or the chopsticks and the knives and stuff like that.
That's one thing.
But, yeah, to sit there moaning groan while you're eating.
Hmm.
Come on.
Yeah, we've all had really good food.
But to do that.
Well, um, there's been some times during sex that I wish the other person would make a
little noise just so I would know what they liked.
So, okay.
What do you think of piercings?
I don't really think about them one way or another.
If somebody has lots of them, I don't know, I'm kind of fascinated and disgusted at the
same time.
What fascinates you about them?
Just why.
Yeah.
What disgusts you about them?
I think I already have enough holes in my head.
I don't need any more.
What disgusts you about them?
Usually, there are two parts of the body that really shouldn't be.
They're pierced?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I guess I'm the same way.
I've thought about getting the, was it Prince Albert?
Mm-hmm.
When I was younger.
And I'm glad I didn't do that.
But, yeah, I just.
The first time I met a guy who had one.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I.
Check his teeth.
I asked him if he, if it hurt.
Mm-hmm.
He says, yes, I got an erection.
Wow.
It hurt so bad I got a hard-on.
Uh-huh.
He said his dick was like a yo-yo because it was a new feeling and he would be stimulated
by that and he'd get an erection and then that would stretch it out and it would hurt
and it would go down.
So, his dick just kept going up and down, up, and down, up, and down all the time.
Wow.
Yeah.
I just lose my mind.
I just don't see.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's why I'm glad I'm, yeah, I think I would chickened out by the time, if I sat
down and did it.
I think I'd come.
That's a very sensitive area.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Putting a hole in your body.
Yeah.
I did have my ear pierced once.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Above my, my, I guess the upper part of your ear and not where your lobes at.
Mm-hmm.
The upper part.
Why?
I was a stupid college kid.
You were at the mall one day and.
That's where I got it.
That was in the mall, yeah.
That's where I, okay.
So, me and my buddy Mike Anderson, we both got it done.
But yeah, it's.
I don't find them erotic, but I don't find them not erotic.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I know that some people do.
Yeah.
Well, it's, I can see why people get sexually aroused with them, like, in certain areas.
Mm-hmm.
Because in other parts, I think it's just stupid.
I think a lot of times it's just, oh, let's pierce it just to see if we can pierce it.
Mm-hmm.
And it's probably expensive to do and probably expensive to maintain.
Well, not, that's what's scary.
Because, I mean, you hear, you hear all these horror stories where, you know.
Oh, about getting infected.
Getting infected or you get a pinch in your arm or something.
Having a drop off or whatever.
Yeah.
So, so I would definitely recommend.
I just want to let Joe shit the rag man who's got a piercing kit just go ahead and do it
because, you know.
Good way to get hepatitis.
Yeah, exactly.
So, yeah.
We'll just leave it at that.
Have you ever picked your nose in public?
What do you mean?
Probably.
I don't know.
I have never picked my nose.
Someone else's nose?
Because if I could pick my nose, I would have picked a smaller one.
Yeah.
You've never picked your nose in public?
I don't think so.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't think, I don't think so.
I, I really do.
There's some people who really go for the gold.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, they're full board digging.
I mean, they're looking for gold.
I mean, and then they look for it.
Like, when they get it on their fingertips.
They taste it.
They spin their finger around like it's, like it's on a spotlight.
And you hear, like, music singing in the background.
Oh, I'm all right.
Does it bother you when someone touches your computer screen with their finger?
Um, yeah.
Especially at work.
And the main reason is my, uh, so the HDMI cord that runs from my computer to my monitor is shot.
And so, if you bump it the right way, the screen will go out.
Wow.
It would cost, like, a whole $9 to fix that.
I know.
It's amazing, isn't it?
Yeah.
So that's...
I don't like greasy little spots on my screen.
On the same line, yeah.
No, I trust me.
People know not to touch my computer.
I've worn them numerous times.
I have a laser pointer in my, my pencil holder.
Okay.
At work.
And when someone wants to touch my screen, I hand that pointer to them.
Okay.
Point to the screen with this.
Okay.
Well, that makes sense.
See, most of the time it's just me pointing out, uh...
And who knows?
That person...
The person who's touching your computer screen, they may have just picked their nose.
Yep.
That's very true.
Hi.
Do you exhibit any ritualized behaviors?
That's like checking the back door five times before you go to bed.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, then.
So, yes, I do.
As a matter of fact.
Yes, I do.
See?
I figured most people would say no.
I, I don't...
Really?
I don't...
And then we go right on to the next question.
Well, now...
What do you say when someone sneezes?
There you go.
God bless you.
Gesundheit.
To you, nothing.
Apparently not when you're an atheist, though.
Really?
Yeah, I don't say it to you.
I don't say anything to you.
Yeah, I don't.
Do you, you don't have any ritualized behaviors?
Oh, I'm sure I do.
You just don't know?
They're...
They become second nature after a while.
Yeah.
It's not a ritual anymore.
Hmm.
Okay.
So...
Okay, so we're never all the way down...
All right?
So...
Yeah, you don't wish anybody anything when they sneeze.
So, I guess we're past that already.
How do you respond when someone says,
Hi, how are you?
What are you supposed to say?
Fine, how are you?
Mm-hmm.
Do I do that?
I don't think you do.
I don't think you do, do you?
No.
Because I'm not fine, and I don't care how they do.
Yeah, I guess you don't really say anything, do you?
So, you just kind of nod and walk away.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I'll acknowledge them.
I generally say hi.
It's just a social...
I don't know.
It's a ritual.
Yeah.
No, it is.
You don't really care how they do?
No, but when you...
Well, like in my position, I mean, I'm with customers all day long, so it's just natural.
It's just something you do.
It's expected.
You know what I mean?
Be polite.
And I don't know why it's considered polite to basically ask a meaningless question that
you can give a rat's ass about, but it is.
You know what I mean?
Maybe the thing to do is give them a long, detailed answer that they have no interest
in, and they'll stop asking that question.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I mean, I try to change it up on people when they ask what I'm doing.
You know what I mean?
They're like, what are you up to today?
I'm like, oh, about 6-2.
You know what I mean?
So, I just...
So many YouTube videos start with, what's up, guys?
Like they're going to answer across the screen or something.
Yeah, well, I think they're trying to be PC.
And it says, you know what I'm saying, Beatles or...
Beatles?
Mm-hmm.
You say the strangest thing when you're asleep.
Yeah, I know.
Why did I just say that?
I don't know why I'm dozing off.
I don't know why I'm dozing off, either.
I apologize.
Why did I just get so tired?
Just one question left.
I know.
I'm just bizarre when I do that.
I hate that.
At restaurants, do you have difficulty deciding what to eat?
I don't think so.
Do you?
Oh, don't.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Every, every, every time.
And then you decide on something.
And the server writes it.
Yeah, and you change your mind.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
Every single time.
I do it because you're so boring.
I got to keep them on their toes.
No, I...
Yeah, you're right.
I do.
I always change something.
Or my favorite is what I do.
What do you recommend?
Oh, I'll get the other one.
I do that quite a bit, too.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I was really going with the other one in the first place, so...
Yeah.
Uh, you, on the other hand, now, I don't think you, you pretty much...
I have no trouble making decisions.
Well, you, you're not fair.
You cheat.
You look at the menu before you even get to the restaurant.
So, you already know what you want to have.
Why doesn't everyone do that?
I don't know.
Because people like the idea of going out to talk and hang out and eat and making an
event instead of taking care of everything and eating, not talking, and going on.
So, that's why.
That's why.
Okay.
All right.
So, is that it?
Mm-hmm.
Now that I said this part of it?
Um, we're doing half of them this episode, then we'll do the other half next episode.
Oh, okay.
Well, do you have a joke for us this week?
Mm-hmm.
What is it?
I hope I can get through this.
Okay.
It's a long one.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
Mm-hmm.
The bus driver says,
Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down fuming.
She says to a man sitting next to her,
The driver just insulted me.
Mm-hmm.
The man says,
You go back up there and tell him off and I'll hold your monkey for you.
That's cute.
That's really cute.
I like that.
Did you come up with that?
No.
No, that is cute, though.
I do like that.
When I first read that,
I laughed and laughed.
That is funny.
The bad thing is that there's kids out there that are uglier than a monkey.
You don't want to hold on to.
That is funny.
Oh, gosh.
Tell that when you work tomorrow.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to tell that when I work.
All right.
This was episode 159 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
This is Baehr.
And Curadh.
Goodbye.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast,
a production of the Land of Awes Information Services.
We can be contacted via email
using the address podcast@awes.com
and Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.