Hello from Baehr and Curadh, a podcast from the Land of Awes Information Services.
I love you, Curadh.
I love you, Baehr.
This is episode 171 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
We're going to talk about non-sexual things that make men attractive.
Okay.
Do you agree that these things make men attractive?
Having healthy confidence.
I think so.
I think, like it says, healthy confidence.
I don't need false confidence.
But a healthy confidence where they're not arrogant.
Do you know what I mean?
So, you think that Trump is an attractive man?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's a big difference there.
That's narcissism, not confidence.
Not confidence, but arrogance.
Arrogance, yeah.
There's a fine line.
But his line's not that fine.
I think he's just a pig.
Yeah.
So, I would never confuse his narcissism and lack of being humble confidence.
So, I have nothing nice to say about the man.
So, you know that.
What do you think?
Yeah, I don't like him either.
About someone with healthy confidence?
Yeah.
Okay.
You don't want somebody who's all mealy about everything.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Being able to show emotional vulnerability without embarrassment.
I think that last part is the key.
Without embarrassment.
Yeah.
Because there are some men who will cry, but then get all shy about it.
Hmm.
You don't cry very much, though, do you?
Only in the shower when nobody can see me.
Stop.
Would you say you are a crier?
Probably not.
I don't think you do.
Would you say I'm a crier?
Yes.
Like, too much, or?
Yeah, you ugly cry way too often.
I'm being serious.
I mean, do you think I cry too much, or?
I can't remember the last time you cried.
Okay.
So that answers that.
It's not like I do whatever.
On the drop of a hat.
On the drop of a hat, or, so, okay.
Wearing glasses.
A pair of spectacles has a surprising effect on many gay men.
Yeah.
Now, would you say glasses or sunglasses?
What's the difference?
Well, one of them you need, one of them you don't.
Hmm.
One of them is more like, you know, you need them to survive.
Sunglasses you don't need to survive.
I see.
What about my glasses?
I think your glasses are sexy.
Hmm.
Well, I only wear the one I have to read.
Yeah, but when you wear your sunglasses, I think they're sexy.
Hmm.
Probably because the ones you wear are the ones that I bought.
Because you can't see the eye contact anymore.
Are you rolling your eyes at me?
You think I'm looking at you all the time.
You're rolling your eyes at me all the time?
Yeah.
Crying all the time, embarrassed that you're with me.
Mm-hmm.
Dreading your life.
God, I hate this man so much.
It's a good thing I can't see me crying all the time.
Well, I don't know if I want to continue this podcast.
I'm kidding.
All right.
Hugs.
Hugs, yes.
Hugs are definite.
And, yeah, I'm a hugger, I think.
I know you're not.
Not really, no.
No, you're not much of the touchy-feely type of person.
Mm-hmm.
That's why I get thrown out of the bedroom so often.
Yeah, that must be it.
No, I think hugs are not mandatory, but I think it's a nice way of showing love.
I draw the line at co-workers.
You don't hug your co-workers?
No.
Why not?
You don't deserve it.
Okay.
So, you want to get, like, I know you like one of your co-workers a lot.
You want to give her a hug?
Oh, God, no.
Why?
That would be, oh, no.
Would she punch you or something?
Probably.
Okay.
Well, I hug my co-worker all the time.
Hmm.
My boss.
But I've known her for 25 years, and we were friends before we worked together, so.
Hmm.
There's times I'm going to punch her, but.
But that's a different kind of relationship.
Humor.
Laughter is the universal language of fun and happiness, and it's sexy, too.
I would think so.
You?
So, you think I'm incredibly sexy because I'm funny to look at.
I didn't say that.
I said you're funny.
So, but no, I think being funny is sexy.
I never thought of it as sexy.
Yeah, I mean.
But being unfunny is not sexy.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
Being dour is not interesting.
Hmm.
How do you put up with me, then?
I don't know.
Because I'm none of these things.
We're just totally the opposite on everything.
I'm none of these things.
Hmm.
Intelligence.
Engaging with an intelligent mind can be stimulating, and some people need intellectual
stimulation to feel sexual attraction.
I'm not one of those people.
You don't think that you need funniness from me?
You don't need me to; I'm not saying that.
You don't need me to be intelligent?
No.
No, as long as you're pretty.
Okay.
You say that, but I don't believe it.
Like, I can't see you dating someone who isn't.
Who's like a dumb jock.
Yeah.
And then you're looking at me smirking.
Thanks.
I'm done with this one.
This one's no fun.
No, that's what the whole podcast is about.
Yeah, I'm just not aware of it.
A deep voice.
That deep husky voice men use when they first wake up turns a lot of guys on.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's creepy.
The way you just said that was very creepy.
Please do not do that again.
That was very creepy.
So no, when you can put your psycho killer, serial killer, don't do that again, please.
When I think of a deep voice, I think of Sam Elliott.
Hmm.
Okay.
You know who that is.
Yeah, beef, food for dinner.
Yeah.
It's a pretty good imitation if you don't mind asking.
Okay.
Okay, I can see that.
Although, their voice isn't usually very deep when they've got something in their throat.
Wow.
I just went there too.
All right.
I guess I could be very sexy if it needs to be.
All right.
Rolling up his sleeves so you can see his forearms.
I suppose.
But I'm just having these horrible thoughts, like when you're working on a car, which I
would never be doing, and then the guy literally looking over at me, slowly rolling up his
arms so he's all looking at me, I would laugh.
Like, really?
I'm like, when's the porn music going to start?
Honestly, if something like that happened, I would be like, yeah.
Wouldn't you?
I mean.
Well, I say don't roll up your sleeves.
Just take your shirt off.
Yeah.
Do all that.
I know you want them to take their shirt off, because then you'd see their hairy chest.
Now, what would you do if they didn't have a hairy chest?
Oh, I can't.
I don't have enough time for them.
Wow.
Good thing I quit shaving my chest a week before I met you.
I'm kidding.
I'm well aware of the fact that we're together because I have a hairy chest.
When his calves are bulky.
I do think it's sexy when I'm seeing a guy with big calves.
I don't know why.
Where is that?
The calves?
Right here?
The lower part.
Everybody on the podcast knows exactly where you're going.
Lower part of your leg.
The muscle on the back side of your legs below the knee.
Okay.
I don't think I ever look there.
Yeah.
Some people don't.
I mean, some people look at legs and think they're sexy.
Some people like thighs.
Hmm.
Some people like toes.
Mm-hmm.
That's gross.
You walk on those.
They call them hoes for a reason.
You set me up for that.
You knew how I was going to react.
Hmm.
Driving a vehicle with a manual transmission.
Stupid.
I think that's just dumb.
Kind of like being able to parallel park.
Yeah.
It's something you should know how to do.
So, what is it?
Sexy.
Mm-hmm.
It's like brushing your teeth.
Stuff like that.
I have seen a few YouTube videos where these really butch guys, you know, they go to rent
something and they like rent a truck and they can't drive it because it's stick.
Really?
Well, I mean, I'm not very good at driving stick ones.
I get used to them.
But I can.
do it. I mean, I've done it. I've driven
cross-country using Stig, so.
I haven't done it, I think, since
I first learned how to drive.
It's been since the 90s. They made me learn
it then. Yeah, mine was in the 90s.
So, yeah, we definitely need
a little refresher.
Making you feel wanted.
I think that's sexy. Don't you?
I suppose. You usually
make me feel wanted. Do I?
Mm-hmm. Well, good. Well, that's what
I'm here for. Just trying to make you happy.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that's part of
a relationship, though. You think you should try to make
your partner or your husband
happy. Mm-hmm. And you think?
Mm-hmm. And why
else are we in this mess? Yeah.
Okay. Eye
contact across
the room. You made that sound
like a joke. No, I didn't mean to.
So, just eye contact
across the room. Mm-hmm.
What do you think of that?
Yeah, when you look at me with those doe
eyes. Okay.
You're being sincere? Mm-hmm. Okay.
No, I...
There's times where we'll be out, and
we'll make eye contact out, and
it makes me warm inside.
That's usually when you put your hand over
your chest. Yeah.
But I'll look at you, and it's just, you know,
I say I love you more out in public
now, but it's when I put my hand over my
chest, I do it, and you know what I mean.
And it's not like I'm yelling,
I love you, across the room. You know what I mean?
That's just over the top, I think, but
that hand over my chest, you know what I mean,
too.
Mm-hmm. It's kind of like our little secret.
Yeah. So, but I think that's
sweet, and I enjoy that
part of our relationship. Mm-hmm.
Because it's our way of communicating without anyone
else knowing. Mm-hmm. Don't you agree?
Yes. Okay. Well, I love you.
Love you, too. Good.
Safe driving.
Okay, everything you just said throughout the window.
Because I know that's what
happens when I'm driving.
What? You're safe when you
drive? No, all these things,
the sweet things that you think about me are all gone
now that we're talking about me driving.
Because our driving styles are completely
different, and mine drive you crazy.
Yeah, I try to stay between the lines.
Mine are just a suggestion.
So.
I think we should move on. Yes.
Let's just move on before we get into an argument.
Nerding out and explaining
things to me that interest him.
I think we both do this all
the time. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Um, yeah, it's, it's,
it's, I don't know, I mean, we're
pretty good about faking liking what
the other one likes. Oh, a feigning interest?
Yeah. Oh, really?
Oh, that's so neat.
Tell me more. Tell me more.
Yeah, anything, uh, I, yeah.
So, at least we have that understanding,
I mean. Every once in a while, I have to ask
a stupid question about football
just so you'll stay around.
Well, you haven't asked a question
about football in about five years, so.
Having a well-decorated
home or room. Decorated.
I, I guess that's different
than clean. Decorated.
We definitely don't have a clean house.
No, but we have a decorated house.
Yeah, yeah. I'm comfortable.
I mean, it's comfortable. And stuff from both
of us everywhere. Mm-hmm.
It's comfortable. I like it. Mm-hmm. I wish we
could clean more. I really do, but
neither of us physically can do it. I mean.
Yeah. It's just too difficult.
And paying somebody to do it is
so expensive. Yeah. I wish there
was one that we could come up with, like, some sort of
chore list of light things
that we can each do. Like, actually.
Well, those things we already do.
Yeah. Or maybe get
someone in here who wants to clean, do a deep
clean, and then have them leave us a list
of things that we can do to feign
like we're deep cleaning all the time.
You know what I mean?
Places to sweep the dirt under the rug.
Yeah. For lack of better
terms, yeah. But yeah, just maybe
like a more laid back.
I'll bet if we had to have our
house clean, I'll bet it would cost us a
thousand bucks. No.
Excuse me.
Oh, here we go. No, no.
Gonna have the hiccups now. I'm trying not to.
Wearing my clothes.
Wearing my clothes. Like,
you wearing my clothes?
Neither one of us do that.
We're so drastically different
in sizes, there's no way.
Remembering small details.
Like what? I don't know.
What did I forget?
Small details,
apparently.
Well, like
just this morning, you said
that I must be rubbing off on you
because you had an ENSYS bag
in the car.
That's something I never would have done before,
but it's true.
You got me thinking about things that I never would have
done before or thought about before.
So that's good.
Laughing heartily.
I think that's important.
How hard do you get when you laugh?
Not very, because I jiggle too much.
Do you laugh quite a bit,
heartily, when you think it's attractive?
I remember
quite a long time ago, I watched
a series called Pastor.
Okay.
And there were
a couple of times that I laughed out loud
and you said,
I don't know what you saw,
but it must have been twisted because
that's what happens when you laugh
out loud.
So, it was calling you out on it?
Mm-hmm.
That's too much. I wonder what it was.
Well, I remember the scene, but...
Yeah. What was the scene?
It was her star
and some athlete
who were having this competition
to see who could be the best
assassin.
And they did all of this,
like,
calisthenics
and typing,
and,
and just
a whole bunch of things.
And the last event, they were tied
to the end, and the last
event was
a target practice
with guns. And the first guy,
he picks, or the other guy, he takes
his gun up and he shoots
right square in the middle of the target.
And then her star picks up
his gun and shoots the other guy.
Oh, wow.
That's something twisted that you would definitely
laugh at, too. Yes.
That's funny.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Alright.
Calm under stress.
Um, I think I'm much better
at this than you are. I think so, too.
Much, much, much, much better.
I've gotten better, but I'm still not
very good at it. But I'll admit it.
I mean, do you think I've gotten better?
Yeah, but then every once in a while
something happens. I take ten steps
back, yeah. I think I freak out.
Um, the last time your prosthetic
broke. Mm-hmm.
And you tried to fix it.
I had to stop you from damaging
it more. Yeah, because I was pissed off.
Yeah, you got very angry.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that's...
You're right. Yeah.
I get angry, but I don't get angry
and throw things because I know that it's
just going to make it worse. Yeah.
You do get angry, though. Mm-hmm.
You're not afraid to let that anger get
the best of you. And I think you
have learned that because I'm angry
doesn't mean I'm angry at you. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, because, well, it's scary at first
because you get... You do. You get very,
very angry, and you're still a very big man.
Mm-hmm. And, yeah,
it's, uh, it's quite an eye-opener
when you first see you get angry
because you're a very soft-spoken, gentle man.
And then when you get angry,
it's kind of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Mm-hmm. And, you know, I just...
When the first time I remember seeing you get angry,
you really caught me off guard because you get angry.
And I think I told you at that
time, don't... Yeah.
Talk to me right now. Mm-hmm.
I will talk to you. I will talk to you,
but not now. Yeah.
Yeah. But it's okay.
Fixing stuff without fanfare.
I think that's... That's a positive.
I mean... Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I don't see it necessary to be...
Trump is another example. If he does
fix something, then he wants...
He wants all the accolades and the pat on the back
and all that crap. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Um, yeah.
Probably because it doesn't ever happen.
Probably.
Never got any love from his
poppin' mama.
When a guy just hops
in to help me with something unbidden,
I think I do that.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I've seen you do it.
It's nice, too. It's just... It's nice.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
I'm just visualizing the
times that I've said,
oh, just let me do it. Yeah.
Never.
Also, I mean, if someone knows how to do it better
than I do, then yeah.
You're gonna sit there and watch me
frickin' struggle, or you're gonna
put your experience to use.
So, yeah.
That's about a 50-50 there. Yeah.
Cooking in the kitchen and not just on the grill.
I think that's gonna be sexy.
I don't ever think
I've thought of it as sexy, but
being the opposite is very unsexy.
Yeah. Yeah, very much.
But it is different
between the kitchen and the grill. Don't you agree?
Yeah. So many guys cook
on the grill. It's a macho
kind of thing. Yeah.
Which is silly. It's just sort of
a different cooking device.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? Like, why is it so unsexy?
Because he's grilling instead of using an oven.
Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? You're still preparing
a meal. Well, most
guys who are grilling
aren't really doing any of the preparing.
They're standing there watching the steaks cook
while somebody else puts the table out
and does all
the rest of the stuff. You're right.
Being adorably scared
about watching horror movies.
Obviously, this was a very specific
one that somebody had.
Mm-hmm.
And you don't watch scary movies.
Do you think it's adorable when I watch
scary movies and get scared? Yes.
Do you really? Mm-hmm. Why? Because it's
just funny? I guess I'm a
bit illogical about it. If
I'm afraid of being scared, then
I just won't watch the movie.
Mm-hmm.
So, you don't fall for any of this
could possibly ever happen?
Mm-hmm. The things
in scary movies that don't
actually, happen to me. Yeah, well,
no, no. Most of them
are so over-the-top. Yeah, that's
why I think scary movies are no
longer scary. Some of the
thrillers that are out there will kind of get you
more of the ones that make you think
about it before. Oh, if
it's like the next-door
neighbor who has a butcher shop in
his basement or something. Well, get away from
the whole slash-and-kill thing.
You know, the guy with the mask goes
around with a machete and hacks people. No one knows.
Everyone knows that's not going to happen.
Um. And
true evil hardly
ever takes an appearance like that.
It's usually something subtle and
terrible.
Mm-hmm. Why do we
keep coming back to Trump?
Because he's
an evil man.
Speaking more than one language.
Oh, whoopee.
I mean, it's... Does pig Latin
count? No. I guess
so. I mean; I guess it could because it is
another language. It's not
how about Vulcan. I guess it's
a... Or Klingon. Doesn't do anything
for you. Doesn't do anything for me. No.
I mean, good for you, but I don't think
it's sexy. Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's... Oh, well, you know
how to speak another language. Whoopee.
So, you know, it's not a
big power move for me. Mm-hmm.
When they are super nice
to wait staff. Okay.
I think that's sexy.
I think it's sexy the way you
tip and how nice you are to
the wait staff when we go out to eat.
I wouldn't say sexy, but it's the way
that you're very polite. It's just the way
you ought to be. You're polite.
Shouldn't stand out. Yeah, you're polite
though, but I think the
waiters and waitresses that
have helped us know us now.
Because they remember that $20 tip.
They remember that $20 tip. Yeah. You know what I mean?
A lot of times, that's a lot more than what we
spent the food for. You know what I mean?
Yeah. And well above.
So... Laughs easily.
Yeah. I don't see why that would be
a bad thing ever. I think you
laugh pretty easily. You think so?
Because I'm so funny looking.
I would never say you're funny
looking. Prefers bare
feet at home. No. Absolutely
not. No bare feet for you.
Well, just look
what can happen. Yeah, we're both
diabetic though. Too much
risk for little reward.
Way too much risk for little reward.
Even just because I'm diabetic, I've known about
the risk of being barefoot anyway.
It's easy to step on something and get
infected and turn out like me.
Mm-hmm. It's not that hard.
That's probably how it happened to you.
Probably. Probably you stepped on something
and got infected. And I mean,
it can happen to anybody, not just a diabetic.
Diabetics have a higher chance of that happening to them
because they don't heal quite as quickly.
But yeah, it's... And don't
feel the pain. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah, and I just
don't see the... Maybe somebody
who likes feet.
Yeah. Which are gross anyway,
so...
Smells like laundry soap.
Depends on the laundry soap.
Okay. I'm teasing. I do.
I think that's better than smelling like body odor.
Yeah. No, I think that's good.
Before we judge any guys,
we should go up and...
Smell. Smell. Yeah.
Well, you don't like cologne of any sort.
No, I don't. Okay.
Sits down to urinate. Never thought of it.
I think that's a polite way of saying
doesn't piss on the floor.
Okay. Yeah,
I never thought of it one way or another.
I never sat there and went,
oh, that guy sits down.
That's sexy.
Well, yeah, I haven't thought that either.
A lot of guys who have a PA have to
because it just goes everywhere.
Yeah, I've heard it.
When I briefly thought about getting a PA,
that was one of the warnings someone told me.
You actually have to turn your cock
around, like twist it around
so, you can have some sort of aim.
So, I'm like,
that's not too much work for a little...
So...
Kindness is the hottest thing a guy can have
and being humble.
Okay.
Like to the waitstaff.
That's what I'm wondering.
Kindness.
I don't think I really show kindness very often.
You're not mean, though.
No.
I'm thinking like a homeless person
asking for a handout, you'll do that,
but I won't.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's being unkind, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's not that bad, though.
Would you agree?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I mean, like you could
do something...
Do something like
tell Ukraine that they're going to have to
give up the war
and lose all their
territory.
That's not being kind.
No. No, not at all.
Well, yeah.
I guess we better move on.
No, I just don't have anything to add to it. I'm sorry.
Speaks well about his family and friends.
Well, that's just...
You would want that, wouldn't you?
That's just being kind.
That's just being kind, yeah.
Hmm.
I mean, you're saying...
I have...
In the past, dated guys who
didn't have a good thing to say about anybody.
Right.
And that is not an appealing look.
Yeah.
So, people who are just negative all the time, you're not...
Especially at other people, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You don't want to be around someone that's constantly ridiculing and...
Mm-hmm.
...being mean to other people you care about.
Mm-hmm.
So, yeah.
I would agree with that.
Now, I tend to point out things, but it's in an ironic way.
Mm-hmm.
Usually, like...
Like, um, this guy is trying to be president of the United States and being a failure instead.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, terribly.
Mm-hmm.
Guys who want to try my hobbies are inquisitive about them and fine with letting me do them.
Okay.
And we both do this.
Yeah.
But it's funny because we both will try it and neither one of us like it.
But we tried at least.
Mm-hmm.
So, I don't want to say we put in, like, a thousand percent effort when we try.
I don't want to say we try, quote, quote, unquote, but, um...
I think the last thing that I tried was helping you with putting together Legos.
Mm-hmm.
God, that was so boring.
Now you tell me, what, five years later?
Yeah, the Legos are not a group, uh, a group activity.
Well, I think we boiled it down to I find the parts and you put them in.
Yeah.
You were good at finding the parts.
Mm-hmm.
So, uh, when they show love and respect for animals...
You do that.
What?
You do that so much.
Show love and respect for animals?
You take care of all of our pets, really.
Yeah.
So, would you say that I'm good at it?
Yes.
Okay.
Thank you.
That, and it makes me want to puke when I have to scoop the litter box.
So, you barely have to do it ever, though.
Mm-hmm.
Um, last one.
Being rich makes a guy super attractive.
Mm-hmm.
I never know, I don't know, I never dated someone super rich.
I don't think, I don't know, it doesn't do anything for me.
So, if Donald Trump proposed to you, you wouldn't accept?
No.
Oh, no.
You trying to get me sick again?
No, no, no, no.
I think that last one must have been put on there as a joke.
Yeah, had to be.
Well, do you got a good, was that the joke for the week?
No, no.
Do you got a joke for us this week?
Mm-hmm.
What is that sensitive bit on the penis called?
It's going to be a trick.
I don't know.
The man.
I knew it was going to be something smart like that.
That's good.
All right.
This was episode 171 of the Baehr and Curadh podcast.
This is Baehr.
And Curadh.
Goodbye.
You have been listening to the Baehr and Curadh Podcast,
a production of the Land of Awes Information Services.
We can be contacted via email using the address podcast@Awes.com.
And Awes is spelled A-W-E-S.